An Inner Conflict

When I started quilting and sewing over 4 years ago (hard to believe it has been this long) I dove in feet first without looking back.  In my spare time I read blogs about different techniques, different styles, designers, fabric lines and people’s adventures while quilting/sewing.  I was able to name a fabric line simply by seeing a small sample of fabric and I had grand plans about the projects I wanted to do.  If there was a project that people I knew were doing I wanted to do it too no matter what the skill level.  I joined every club, swap and group I could find, just to be apart of the group – to be included.

Things are different now.  I had rose colored glasses on when it came to the expectations of life once Ella was born.  I thought for sure I would be able to sew during nap times, in the evening once Nate got home, and on the weekends.  I know I can hear your laughter.  Reality has sure set in now that we have been parents for 4 months.

It is true I can sew during nap times – though that has been difficult as she is only napping for about 40 minutes on a good day.  You might say, “40 minutes that is a good chunk of time.”  You are correct, but that is also the time I have to shower, eat, get laundry started or finished, tidy the house, do the dishes, get ready if we are going out or do a little fitness.  Who cares about eating?  Some days that is the attitude I have.  So what about the housework/dishes/laundry?  True – so what….but how else will they get done?  Go out?  Put a ball cap on and yoga pants – I could, but that is my at home look, sometimes I need a change.  Shower?  Lets not go there.  I have found it rather difficult to squeeze in time.  I still want to quilt which is part of my problem, if I lost my desire as some said I would then this would be a non issue.

Perhaps I could sew while little miss is playing on her mat or jumping in the jolly jumper?  Yep, I could.  But there are two things stopping me.  Number 1: my sewing room is in the basement of our house and I can’t just leave her upstairs while I am down stairs and lugging ALL HER STUFF isn’t always what its cracked up to be.  Number 2: I enjoy watching her play and interacting with her while she plays – I could watch the jolly jumper all day, though I am starting to wonder if my headaches are caused by the motion.  Ever heard of motion sickness from a jolly jumper for a parent?  Me neither, but I might be the first.

I honestly am at a loss of what to do about it sometimes.  I don’t have the heart to give it up, but I don’t have the heart to not be with Ella or Nate either.  Oh the turmoil.

I’ve included a small video of little miss on the jolly jumper – just so you can see why watching her can pull you away from other things – it is just so funny.

PS.  She is much better at the Jolly Jumper now.  This was day 1.

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5 Comments

Filed under Baby Girl, Everyday Life, Quilting

5 responses to “An Inner Conflict

  1. I remember those days . . . and those dilemmas . . . but trust me that you’ll have lots of sewing time again someday! Hugs, Katherine

  2. nat

    Looks she is tap dancing! 🙂 I totally get it, even though I don’t sew.
    It seems it is just part of this stage of life we are in, where spare time (or alone time) becomes a hot commodity. Not sure I have advice for you but sure do empathize.

  3. Blue.Ridge.Girl

    I don’t really have advice, but just a really, really important concept I learned in my college economics class…I think it is the only thing I learned in my college economics class, but we won’t go there. It’s called the principle of opportunity cost or opportunity lost. It is basically this: No matter what you do you pay a cost for it in the lost opportunity to do something else. I never really understood this until my son was born. It plays out like this:

    If you choose to play with your kids the cost is not grading school papers or planning lessons. If you choose to do school work the cost is not making a good, homemade dinner. If you choose to quilt the cost is not getting exercise. I think you get the picture.

    There is no easy answer other than to carefully weigh out the opportunity and the balancing cost and make a choice.

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